It’s Not Me, It’s Me…

Lisa L. DemmiI have found myself many times recently comparing myself and looking at life with a bit of a negative filter. We all do that. What’s significant is that I realize that I’m in charge of that.

Often it’s easier to blame someone else for that bad attitude or all the horrible, inconvenient or just ugly things that happen to us OR that we do.

Have you ever not let someone in the line at a crossroad because the jackass in front of you didn’t let you in? Guilty!

Have you ever come home and taken something out on your spouse because someone was jerky to you OR better yet because traffic was bad?

Why is the world and everyone in it conspiring against you?

To this I laugh! Why, because I have felt this way as recently as this afternoon.

You wake up, stub your toe on the way to the bathroom, drop coffee on the couch, get toothpaste on your dress shirt and eventually, leave late for work?

Been there, done that.

I always just want to get back in bed and start all over….tomorrow! Haha!

Listen, the world isn’t out to get you although I’ve been known to cuss out of frustration a time or two when Mercury is in retrograde.

Here’s the way I get over it. I just do.

Wow, that was a sparkling revelation, wasn’t it? Seriously, just do. It’s up to you to move on to the next thing. The world isn’t on standby waiting for you to take your next step so that it can trip you up.

News flash- you’re not that special.

We are the ones who make us clumsy or irritated or what have you. When you get flustered, the next thing you do comes from a place of upset SO you’re already walking a step behind. When you do the second thing like spill your coffee, that’s it. Might as well give up for the day but you know you can’t so you’re even more ticked than you were a few seconds ago and then, bad thing number three and four and so on and your whole day is ruined.

Awww, poor you.

Look, you can turn the day around even if you keep spilling coffee, getting rained on, miss your plane, whatever the bad luck thing that happens next. It really is all about the way you handle something or react to something.

A quick example, car wreck number 1- not my fault, rear ended by a distracted driver. She was very upset, I tried to calm her down and tell her it’s only a car and no one was hurt. She had insurance; use it. It happens. Turns out she lived in my neighborhood and invited me over for an authentic Caribbean meal! My car got fixed, insurance took care of it, we weren’t hurt and I got a nice meal!

Car wreck number 2- not my fault, side swiped by a distracted driver (I think they ought to come with a warning label or something so you can more easily see who is and isn’t paying attention.) I get out, I’m pissed because how could she NOT see me, it’s hot, I have a meeting, she is trying to leave, she is saying I hit her, did I mention I’m pissed? Cop shows up, can’t give a ticket because we’re on private property. Insurance are jackasses and incidentally, no nice authentic Caribbean meal this time.

After wreck 1 I was calm and even laughing with the woman who hit me. Went on the rest of my day and didn’t really think much about it. After wreck 2 I was ticked off for a good chunk of the day, not happy and probably told everyone I know what a horrible morning I had had.

See where I’m going with this?

Say after me: I’m in control of how I deal with the things that happen to me.

You in the back, say it with the rest of us: I’m in control of how I deal with the things that happen to me.

Try it for a day and let me know how it works out for you.

Demmi, out!

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