hello, my name is murphy…

do you ever have one of those days where you probably should have just stayed in bed? welcome to my day…

now listen, i’m not really a whiner but how much can one take when one is already in a bad mood OR because i’m in a bad mood, did i bring the negative energy on? whatever…i’m still murphy either way. it’s days like this that make me want to stay in bed and pull the covers up and wake up next month (which incidentally is tomorrow)….things i learned about being murphy are don’t say or do certain things to someone having that type of day

here are the certain things:

  1. is it that time of the month?
  2. did you take your happy pills?
  3. calm down (that’s a big one).
  4. have you spoken to your counselor lately (this one obviously only applies in the event that you have a counselor).
  5. laugh out loud when lost keys get spiked into the garage floor.
saying even just one of these things will not get you in the good graces of murphy and will most likely put you on their shit list which is growing geometrically every hour.
some suggestions of things to say or do to murphy instead:
  1. you are not clumsy (fat, stupid, ugly…insert appropriate adjective here).
  2. you’re adorable (works every time on me).
  3. i know,honey…you’re right.
  4. agree, agree, agree (even if you don’t agree).
  5. do not move quickly toward murphy (he/ she may lash out).
with that being said, there are still several hours left in the day so i’ll share more if and when something happens. for the time being, leave this post knowing that you are armed with the tools to keep you safe and in the clear should you happen to interact with a murphy.

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